Monthly Archives: September 2011

A new ‘thing’

“The woods are lovely, dark, and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.”

Robert Frost

Today I realized something about myself… one of those things that everyone else probably knew years ago but never told me (or they tried but I wouldn’t listen….).

I. Need. An. Obsession.

I need something to focus on and be about. Looking back over my life there has always been something I was obsessed by and devoted to, that consumed my time. There was the book collecting phase (in fact I used to obsessively collect things as a child)… the phase were I wouldn’t stop until I had read ALL the young adult books on sale… the great ‘hair’ phase. Recently, it has been more about sport. There was boxing for a while. I lived it, breathed it, took it to a higher level than any other non-professional girl in the UK (falling down in tears at the end of grading was all part of the drive, of course). Since then, there have been things that are slightly more face-friendly. Biking: I used to bike 2 hours a day. Weight-lifting (the most recent). I loved it, I read everything about it, I structured my life around it. For a newbie with no trainer I did pretty darn good at it (bench press: 120 lbs; squat: 240). I even flirted with bodybuilding.

Flirting with Figure competitions

But, as ever, these things wax and wane. My K grant was it for a while: even though it was wildly out of my grasp, I went for it, hell for leather. I used to write and rewrite it in my head all the time; I remember going over and over it as I did laps in the UAB pool. Well, that is in and done and now, I just need something healthy in my life to direct this energy to, or it will become unhealthy (hello eating disorder).

Ah, the biking days

Running. Trail running. Why not? It is healthy, and has a good intellectual element: you need to carefully plan how you will succeed, optimize pushing yourself vs. rest and recovery, exercise great self discipline. There are forums and web sites and shops and THINGS and it is easy to feel an achievement: set your goal and go for it.

Sparked by my first 5K, and being talked into signing up for Tough Mudder, I have been pounding the pavements. But, I need more. Cue trail running. I love hiking, so why not? Thus, my tentative new plan is to do an ‘official’ trail run race every month until December. Hopefully in different states: 3 months, 3 states.  I am thinking:

October 22nd: 5k in Huntsville, Alabama

November 5th: 5 miles (~8K) in Big Creek, Georgia

December 17th: 10K at Lookout Mountain, Tennessee

See – I am even being good and building them up slowly (no matter how tempting the 9 miler in November seems).

Cheer me on! Now… I gotta go and buy new shoes (this is not why I do it at all. Ahem).

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One step closer to a Tough Mudder.

Eeeek, I was just sent a blog about the Tough Mudder race. Sure, there was talk about skipping obstacles and some happy-go-lucky

“I would encourage anyone to try this out. … I loved the spirit present in the race. … I loved this race…and you might too!”

talk at the end, but there was also talk of water with ice in, tiny tunnels, smoke filled obstacles and such. I am more skeered than ever. Let’s just be glad I met, in fact exceeded (woo!!) all my goals this week. I am assuming that my traning schedule is on point with my fitness and nutrition:

Complete 2 any of 3:

1. Improve 5K time below 30 mins (29.5 mins)

2. Walk for less of the 6 mile jog (HUGE improvement; almost no walking)

3. Complete more of the 8 mile slow and steady / HIIT mix-up. (did it all. Oh yes baby, I sprinted back to my house. And collapsed. But I sprinted none the less).

and to work in some weights for my legs. (DONE!) Ha!

My training went like this:

Thursday:  45 min kickboxing

Friday – am: Timed 5K. Goal: Speed Pm: 20 minutes weights (DAMY workout)

Saturday – light biking

Sunday – 6 mile run. Goal: Endurance

Monday: am: 4 miles HIIT. Pm: Weights (20 min DAMY workout)

Tues: More rest.

Weds: am: 4 mile jog; 4 mile HIIT Pm: Weights (DAMY leg work out)

Goal next week:

Maintain all my times, and turn that 6 miler into a 7 miler (or more?). I (and Gabe, Andrea and Andrew) CAN AND WILL DO THIS!!!!

How to exercise for fat loss

There is a lot of popular press telling you that exercise will not help you lose weight… in fact, you may *gasp* gain weight. The main study sparking this off back in the early 2000s if I recall correctly, got two groups of women and put them on treadmills. One group completed ‘high intensity’ and one group ‘moderate intensity’ exercise, then they were all given a free-for-all buffet, and they all replaced 90% of the calories that they burned leaving the researchers to conclude you will eat all the calories you complete in exercise and ergo – exercise doesn’t lose weight. This was followed by a slew of anecdotal (and possibly some empirical) evidence that people starting an exercise plan do not lose weight. I’ll give some criticisms of these conclusions, but as I do believe there are valid lessons to learn, give some tips of how to exercise and still maintain fat loss.

So, in the experiment above (which I think is a useful pice of scientific evidence) I have two main problems.

1. From a psychological point of view: The lack of ecological validity. This was not people ‘planning’ to conduct exercise for fat loss, it was thrust upon them. If someone said to me ‘I have forced you to burn 500 extra calories’, well, I too might think ‘OK then, I can eat 500, no problems!’. Also, the buffet situation. This does mirror some aspects of ‘real’ life, especially with all the talk of our food cornucopia and obesogenic society. BUT, an unexpected buffet, provided by someone else, as a one-off, is quite different to your home pantry, even if you do have a million restaurants down the road. Even an expected buffet leads me to eat quite differently than when I am at home.

2. From a physiological point of view: there are other, beneficial, metabolic changes related to exercise, which may aid fat loss. These may include, but are not limited to: increased insulin sensitivity, changes in leptin and grehlin, increase in metabolic rate (although this has been over reported), increase in muscle mass.

Note that I keep talking about ‘fat loss’ not weight loss, because I want to step outside of worrying if the scales don’t budge because you are getting bigger muscles, or you are increasing the glycogen they hold, or you have some mild inflammation resulting from the exercise, which may also increase water storage. So, what can we do about it? Here are a few tips:

1. Watch what you eat! Keep a food diary and make sure you are not having larger portions. There is plenty of good advice out there (check out Runner’s World) about how much extra food (if any) you need for different types, and different intensities of exercise.

2. Think about your food timing. The pre- and post- exercise windows are good eating times (30 mins and 1 hour respectively). To both fuel your exercise and to then restore and repair, when your body is most receptive to food and likely to use it for these functions, not convert it to fat. Think about shifting your meal times to work with this, rather than eating extra.

3.Weight lift. Add some strength training as your form of exercise. There is evidence that this will help prevent muscle loss AND aid fat loss.

4. Make sure your exercise hurts. Yup. Bodies quickly adapt to exercise, and evidence is mounting that it is the intensity of exercise that really helps fat loss and post-exercise burn. So, if you are lifting weights, make sure that final rep is really hard. If you are running: make sure you are out of breath by the end. Set a goal and whether that means you go further or faster or for longer, make sure it is hard to complete your goal (I advise a mix of all types of goals). A light jog for 20 mins a day may well have some beneficial effects on your psychology and physiology, and if it is all you can bring yourself to do: go for it! But if you can, make the exercise hard, make it hurt, and make it suck. You should see a steady improvement in your ability, and if not, question if you are pushing yourself enough.

5. Related to 4, but so important it deserves its own point: try HIIT. There are many protocols out there for any type of exercise. Evidence is really mounting that this is the best for fat loss and after exercise burn. I quite like it actually, so give it a try.

Good luck to y’all.

Sorry for the long wall of text and lack of pictures, I am in a rush as I am off for a leisurely bike and hike. Tomorrow the real exercise resumes 🙂

One Tough Mudder (in the making)

Not so much of this anymore I guess.

I am used to the uhhh… “enthusiasm?” of Americans. “Come for a hike,” they yell, and off we go on a WALK. “I know where you live,” they sing “Up that mountain”. If they mean the HILL then yes, yes I do. So, when I signed up for Tough Mudder, billed as ‘probably the toughest race on the planet’, I wasn’t too worried. Sure there was talk of walls to climb over… 12 mile distances and something about electric shocks, but I wasn’t really that worried.

Until I started to talk to people around me. Or more to the point, when they found out I was doing Tough Mudder they wanted to talk to me (after eyeing me nervously). Many people expressed their concern, eventually even the guy in GNC seemed concerned: “I know someone who did that… once”. He said. “Have you seen the people who do that? They’re like… military types… ” *eyes me dubiously* “it’s a lot of work… many people don’t finish it “. Which, whaddya know, is actually true. 25% in fact. Which has sort of started to give me the willies.

A picture from Tough Mudder. Well. That makes me feel good then.

So, I panicked for a few days… then I took a new tactic: I will use this as a challenge! And adventure! I’ll train for it! I’ll train properly and probably win the whole thing, and give up Science and become a runner and I’ll always be able to eat whatever I like, whenever I like AND stay super thin because I’ll be burning so up so much, and I’ll develop those lovely lean muscles that runners have and I’ll probably end up on a magazine and Taylor Lautner will see me, fall instantly in love and marry me, and we’d both have those big white shiny perfect smiles that Americans have and 3 children: 2 boys and girl and a huge house and white picket fence and I don’t think anything would ever trouble or worry me again.

Taylor Lautner. Or as I like to call him: "Mr Frazier-Wood". See, now I don't know if it is morally better to include or exclude my current, sorry, I mean actual, husbands name when I plot to marry a 17 year old.

Seriously… I have approached my new fitness plan with that much enthusiasm.

At least it will give me something new to blog about 🙂

So, I think I need to be able to comfortably run a half marathon – that is my main goal, and I will work hard on my upper body strength when I have adjusted to pushing the cardio. My current plan is the Runners’ World half marathon for beginners plan, and the DAMY workout:

Training Week 1:

Thursday:  45 min kickboxing

Friday – am: Timed 5K. Goal: Speed [34 minutes… oh dear]. Pm: 20 minutes weights (DAMY workout)

Saturday – 6 mile run. Goal: Endurance, just to complete it

Sunday -Blissfull, blissful rest.

Monday: am: 4 miles HIIT. Pm: Weights (20 min DAMY workout)

Tues: More rest.

Weds: am: 4 mile jog; 4 mile HIIT (I completed only 3 miles of the HIIT; briskly walked the last mile). Pm: Weights (DAMY leg work out; not completed this week as I was exhausted)

Phew. So, I am trying to be very careful not to overtrain, especially as I am eating for fat loss at the moment. My goals for next week are to repeat this weeks’ workout (as it was quite a challenge) and complete 2 any of three:

1. Improve 5K time below 30 mins

2. Walk for less of the 6 mile jog (hopefully see an improvement in time)

3. Complete more of the 8 mile slow and steady / HIIT mix-up.

and to work in some weights for my legs.

Week 1 of DAMY Health

Woo hoo! I have successfully completed the first week of what Wes calls “The most sensible diet [I] have ever been on”.  I can’t share my progress as we’re not supposed to weigh or measure ourselves for the first 2 weeks, which I think is a good thing. Although we do have to share our ‘progress pictures’ with Amy. Eeeek! Accountability in its highest form. I personally feel slimmer, and I am pretty sure the trousers I am wearing today (which OK, still have a muffin top, and still leave red welts at the waistband, but whatever) I couldn’t even do up last Thursday. Overall, I feel extremely positive about his diet (or maybe I am supposed to be calling in ‘new way of eating’?).

A light supper anyone?

The biggest thing I have learned is portion control. Seriously. Given that I was eating pretty clean before, I would say this could account for 85% of my 25 lb weight gain. It would be nothing for me, previously, to eat 2 chicken breasts (no skin) for dinner. That is 16 oz. Amy has me eating 4 oz. And I am not hungry. I have also learned not to be too scared of any macronutrient (like fat, or carbohydrate) but to focus on making balanced daily intakes from healthy, fresh foods.

Overall positive points:

*The food is great – I can be quite limited in my cooking ideas, but Amy sends out really yummy and easy recipe ideas. And there are ‘decadent’ foods allowed daily like a Larabar or a banana with PB.

*I actually have manageable hunger. I have been able to stop eating all the frikkin’ time. I have been able to stop thinking about food all the time, and actually concentrate on work.

*I have been able to complete a lot of workouts, and my energy levels have not suffered.

*Broken my gum and diet coke addiction! (Well, stayed off those two for a whole week without too much difficulty).

*No banned food groups – woo hoo. Likely if you want something, you’ll be able to have it soon.

*The food is clearly ‘healthy’. I don’t think a nutritionist in the world would disagree with any aspect of the plan, which makes me feel good. I think the only question they may have is the relatively low caloric intake (~1,400 a day), but as I don’t feel hungry and feel I am getting all the nutrients I need I am not worried.

*The workouts are short. The weights take me 20-30 mins. The cardio is capped at 30 mins (I do more as I am training for a half marathon).

*Amy is wonderful. When I forgot to bring my workout to work… she emailed it to me. When I messed up my eating times, she fixed it and got me back on track. She is positive and encouraging and sunny, and I am really looking forward to working with her as I complete this program.

*I found it very easy to stick to the program 100%.

Negative points this week:

*No alcohol. You can have one glass of wine once a week in this ‘phase’ if you like, but I didn’t bother.

*I wonder if my grocery bill went up a little? It seemed expensive, but I was not buying gum and diet coke in between, nor eating out at all, so it might have balanced out.

*It is pretty strict. I am not sure you can eat out on it, except for your once-a-week ‘treat’ meal. I am not sure what I would do if a friend invited me over.

*I wonder how sustainable this long term, mainly for the above reason. But, I do trust that Amy will help me figure out something that works for me long term with my lifestyle.

So, overall, you can see that the positives far outweigh the negatives 🙂 Anyone interested can contact Amy, or read about the program here.

Oh, and those starting stats? Ahem. OK.

Weight: 143 lbs.

Chest: 38″

Waist: 30″

Hips: 38″.    Not terrible, but not me 🙂

Who am I? Labels and ourselves.

Labeling theory in Psychiatry – in brief – states that people’s perception of others is coloured by the labels given to them by society, the perceiver or the perceived. Labeling theory was initially concerned with the effect of labeling someone as mentally ill, after Rosenhan’s 1973 study whereby 12 sane stooges got themselves admitted to a psychiatric hospital under the label of ‘mentally ill’, after complaining of hallucinations. Their task, after this, was to be released; a task that should be easy enough as they would simply have report to be free of hallucinations, and be ‘themselves’ – correct? Well, it was not the case. They failed to get spotted as ‘psuedopatients’ and had extensive medical reports of their ‘strange behaviour’. An example that always stuck in my mind was when one of the confederates was recording notes from being inside the institution, the psychiatric staff reported it as ‘strange writing behaviour’.

The point of the experiment was to show that the stooges’ behaviour was seen in a different light when they were labelled as ‘mentally ill’, and to raise awareness of the possible problems caused by the stigma that may be associated with mental illness. I have not kept up to speed with modern day labeling theory in scientific research, but I am aware that it is used in the diet and fitness literature to positive effect. Whether it is substantiated or not, Runner’s World has reported that if you are starting to learn to run, it can be beneficial to label yourself – to yourself and to others – as a ‘runner’. This will, apparently, help you stick to your new running plan, and help other encourage you.

I don’t know if Runner’s World is correct, but I have been thinking about labeling a lot recently – in terms of how we label ourselves. And how this can be a positive or negative thing. I moved to the US 24 months ago. Back then I was 118 lbs of skin and bone and hated sport. As a friend put it ‘you don’t have limbs, you have twigs’. I labelled myself as ‘skinny’ (skinny-fat maybe, but nonetheless, ‘skinny’). I didn’t eat carbs. I just didn’t. Once a month there would be a transgression (often alcohol fuelled), but otherwise I was strictly anti-carb. Another label. I was also bulimic. Not a label I wanted others to know, but a label nonetheless.

Then I got out of a very destructive relationship. I looked around and saw that I had moved continent on my own, been knocked back pretty hard in my personal life, but picked myself up and started again. I had established my own life far from home, far from my friends, in a very different culture. And I loved it! As I came out of a subservient position in my personal life, I began to think of myself as ‘mentally strong’, and along with a few other reasons, decided that this required a stronger body. I started weight training, I loved it, so I started body building. Nutrient timing, a strict cardio routine and heavy, heavy lifting ensued. Within 3 months I was regularly running 10Ks, bench pressing my body weight, squatting god-knows-what and I relabelled myself as ‘fit’ or ‘sporty’ and ‘a body builder’. I was 126 lbs of muscle.

Then… I don’t know quite what happened. I relaxed my diet. I started to really dig into my work, writing my first big grants, and pushing papers out. I became a Mum to little Walter who needed a lot of love and attention. I stopped lifting for some reason. I ran a bit, but not seriously. I did zumba and labelled it ‘cardio’. I got back into cooking and socializing. And I kept labeling myself as ‘fit’ and ‘thin’.

Until I had a wake up call. I went to England, where I could not wear endless floaty dresses (Brrrrrr….) and found my trousers could not get over my thighs (no exaggeration, I had to borrow clothes to fly home as none of mine could be put on!). I didn’t quite believe it was real, as it was not *me*. I was ultra fit! I was skinny! Sure – the dial on the scale had moved to 143 lbs (good grief) but that was muscle, right? I mean, muscle weighs more than fat? Everywhere I went, I found people to agree with me. ‘You don’t look any different’, they said, ‘You are so sporty’, ‘all that activity, you can’t have put on weight’, ‘it must be muscle, it is a body builders body!’. I believed it all, as it fit my labels I gave myself.

Then I spoke to another friend. He asked me how my trip to England was, and I said that I had had a wake-up call to having put on a lot of weight (I said it with a smile in a jolly manner). I was shocked at his response: he cheerfully replied ‘yup’. In the next sentence he said ‘you used to be so fit’. I crossly thought ‘I am fit’ and was shocked at his honesty. Then, later, I really thought about it. I am not super fit anymore – 5Ks are not always easy. I struggled to run 6 miles on Saturday, when timewise 1/2 marathons were completed before breakfast every other week – for real. I am not super skinny anymore. I am currently, to be honest, kinda chunky. So, I need to relabel myself, and not cling to labels that are not true – as my friend had accurately relabeled me.

Then I thought about it some more: how could someone who was a friend of mine say this?? How could they be so mean? Then it occurred to me: he used labels like ‘unfit’ (or just ‘not fit’ would be more accurate) and ‘heavier’ to mean exactly that: not fit and heavier. It didn’t have all the negative connotations I associated with these terms. I think (I hope) to my friend, I was exactly the same Lekki in terms of integrity, value, intelligence, interest, fun – in fact all ways – as I was when I was a muscle bound runner. I was just heavier and less fit – nothing more, and nothing less. He used the label to be exactly what it was: he did not become the psychiatric ward worker above who viewed me and my attributes through the lens of these labels. I am less fit and 25 lbs heavier, and to coin a Southern phrase: ‘It is what it is’ i.e. nothing more and nothing less.

So, I have rejigged my labels of myself, knowing that I want to change them, and I will.

I am, as of this moment:

-25 lbs heavier than when I arrived in the US
-2.5 dress sizes larger than when I arrived in the US
-Unable to run more than a 5K without stopping to walk
-Tired after 3 sets of 12 reps with 12 lb weights (really).

This helps me when I think ‘I don’t really have to lose weight to be as I was two years ago, I just need a crash diet to lose this water weight’ or when I think “Oh, I am fit, that was just a bad day – I need some more sleep!”. *IF* I want to be thin, and *IF* I want to be very fit, it is going to take some work.

But, that it is all it is. It has no bearing on the rest of me. And, I am also, as of late:

-A productive and devoted scientist
-Able to let go of controlling everything and enjoy life in the moment sometimes
-Able to look in the mirror, not like some aspects of what I see but not freak out and still see some things I do like
-Able to prioritize: I choose to let work / my puppy / my friends take precedence over my fitness and body sometimes
-HAPPY.

That being said, I am also capable of change. I am following a 1/2 marathon training plan, and the DAMY bikini body plan. In the next 12 weeks, I would like to get back to a size 8-10 (UK) and get somewhere near the weight I came to the US at. I would like to be able to run 10Ks as and when I like, and half marathons with some prep. And I will, but while I can’t: it is what it is. Nothing more and nothing less than that. I have more important (to me) things to judge myself by.

The lies we tell ourselves… and a new diet: The Amy Layne Paradigm (DAMY health)

“It will never happen to me”. A dangerous thought; this reckless abandon for oft-well known facts and data often accompanies smoking, not having a savings account and unprotected sex. Or, in my case, weight gain. Known ‘risk factors’ for the fairer sex (either anecdotally or empirically): moving to the US, moving to the Southern States, turning 30, moving in with a MAN, getting married, taking birth control, owning a car. I did the first 2 two years ago, and the latter 5 all within the period of June-August. But of course, it wouldn’t happen to me, I wouldn’t get fat.

Ahem.

I had heard, heard of the excuses people can make as their BMI shuttles ever closer to ‘I’m not fat, its glandular’ zone, but I would not make them – surely? I mean, I absolutely believed that as my newly instated husband-housemate had started doing the laundry that he was shrinking my clothes. And I honestly believed that because I do a fair amount of sport, if I was fairly cognizant of what I ate; I’d be OK. And I believed that the ever increasing numbers on the scale were ‘muscle gain’ (although I haven’t lifted a weight, unless 1.5 litre bottles of champagne count, for 4 months). And I absolutely believed my friends here who said “you look no different to me”. Until I hit England, when my British friends jaws literally dropped. Not fitting back into my wedding dress was one thing, and my friends kindly said (before they saw me) “you were very thin at your first wedding – now you are just thin’. But, not being able to even do up the jeans that were too big when I left for the US was another. Jaws literally dropped. Concern reigned. More than one person really pushed the ‘are you pregnant?’ issue. In fact, my mother was so worried, that despite me having my period at the time, I took a pregnancy test, leaving me with no choice but to wail “I’m not pregnant! Just fat!”.

I took it fairly well, I think. I cried once – for about 20 seconds. Then I smiled, borrowed my Mum’s elasticated-waist pants for the journey home (seriously we could not even get any of my trousers to do up) and enjoyed 2 weeks of alcohol, cider, pic n mix, meringue, fish n chips, chips, more chips, and some chips. Oh, and wedding cake, Colin the Caterpillars, M&S mini bites and more than a few Almond Croissants. But now, now something must be done. All my yo-yo dieting of the past year has clearly not worked (go figure). And while I have enough nutrition knowledge to sink a battleship, I am no good at following it. I do thingds like panic and try to live off lemon juice and salt water for 10 days. Atkins is tempting, but was not enormously successful last time, and despite the experience of just about everyone else, low carb does not stop me troughing vast portions of anything allowed (a whole chicken for dinner? SURE). Plus, Atkins (and Primal, which is low-ish carb) make it hard for me to keep up with my 1/2 marathon training, zumba, kickboxing and long hikes. The Zone was good, but too hard to stick to long term as I couldn’t come up with more than a couple of recipes. Plain old low calorie effective, but… eh…. I cheat. I need a plan. Somethign simple that I can be held accountable to. So, I am giving Amy Layne’s DAMY Bikini body a go.

I can’t reveal the details of the plan, as Amy charges $98 for the food and exercise plan (+ plus 3 months support and newsletters). But basically, diet wise it is portion control, healthy fats only and no carbs after dinner. There are a few finer points, she tapers the diet and exercise over 12 weeks, has prescribed snacks and eating timings and so on. But, it is not rocket science, I doubt that there is anything here that people don’t ‘know already’. Having said that, that is why I chose the plan: I need something to help me lose weight in a sensible fashion. No tricks, no ‘quick drops’, no easy-outs, no severe restrictions. And  needed something simple; here I just pick foods from 2 / 3 out of 5 lists for each meal. Done.

Oh, and I have to check in each week. Which necessitated ‘starting’ weights and measurements. Where my 30″ waist came from I have no idea (scene this morning):

Lekki: “Wes will you measure my waist for my journal?”

Wes: “Sure… 30 inches”

Lekki: “No, not there, the thinnest part”

Wes: “It says 30…”

Lekki: “Give it here! Measure it here! See! It says…. 30…. dang”.

But I am game, and happy to stick to it. So far (one day!) I am pleased:

-The food is fairly filling

-The food is varied

-Even Wes said the food looked tasty

-My grocery bill wasn’t too bad

-I get a pre bed snack! I so need snacks.

-Amy has responded to every email really quickly, and even interacted with me on facebook! So, I feel good that she will help me tweak it if it isn’t working. She seems super supportive, and is very jolly and positive.

-The newsletter recipes are yummy.

So, aside of throwing in my 1/2 marathon training for the Tough Mudder race in Feburary, I am following it to the letter. Even the things I don’t believe… Amy says no diet coke (HOWL)? Then no diet coke. Amy says 8 hours sleep? I am off to bed early now. Amy says fake tan? I am actually using it!! Jergens healthy glow… smells good. I am not fussed about my end weight, but my goal is to get my waist to 26.5″ in 12 weeks. And the longer term goal is to develop healthy eating habits (that I had before I moved I think, but seem to have lost along the way) that stop this yo-yo dieting.

Wish me luck!! I’ll report back weekly!

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