So, this just happened.
When me and Sammy are apart for more than a day, Sammy has taken to asking for long phone conversations. Like 2 hours long đ¤ About things like… the zombie he defeated in his game today… or the hats we are wearing today. đ´
Yes, hats. I can’t talk about freaking hats for any longer! So like any decent parent – I try to distract him from the topics he is actually interested in, squash his spirit, and indoctrinate him with what I like. I mean… broaden his horizons. Yes. I like to broaden his horizons.
Todayâs topic? Politics. Specifically: why I wasnât hanging out with Trump while I was in DC.
The conversation went something like this:
âWell, bud, the thing is that Trump and I donât agree on a lot of things so I donât hang out with himâ
âLike what? What donât you agree on?â
âHmmm… well, you know when you go to Callum and Finnâs? And Finn can eat really fast and wants to eat all the pancakes? And after heâs eaten lots I make Finn stop, and make sure you and Caroline have enough pancakes? Well, Trump thinks that if you are good at eating pancakes you should have all the pancakes you can get… I think you should have lots of pancakes, but not let babies like Caroline go hungry, just because they canât eat quickly…â
âTrump sounds like a very bad manâ
âWell… I donât know bud… I donât think he is very nice, but some people like him and you have to make up your own ideas about himâ
âWhat else does he do?â
âHeâs just not very good at sharing budâ
âIs this like when Caroline wants to dump all the sugar on her pancake, but you say she has to have a sensible amount so that we can all have some sugar? And when she ends up with more that everyone, you just say I have to just look at my plate, and if I have sugar then I donât get to worry about Carolineâs sugar?â
âYesâ
âBut if she takes all the sugar, and I have none, Iâm allowed to get mad then?â
âI guess soâ
âTrump is very naughty! Heâs going to get in trouble!â
âHa! Funny you should say that! He already is!
âWhy?â
âHe colluded with the Russiansâ
âWhat does that mean?â
âWell… America is a country, like England where Mummy is from is a country, and Russia is a country… and America – and England for that matter – donât like Russia.
And Trump was friends with Russiaâ
âI donât understandâ
âLike, think of someone who did something really bad, like they might to go jail bad, and Trump is friends with themâ
*gasps* âMummy! Is Trump friends with the man who stole all your money?â
â…..â
âThatâs so bad. I donât like that manâ
“…”
“He and Trump should go to jail together!”
â…….â. âSo bud, guess what? I bought a new hat today… it has ears like a cat!â.
Never discuss money, religion or politics with polite company. Or with your 5 year old…
The man that stole all your money. Hahahahaha
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Brilliant! Champion parenting! In Amsterdam presently, a couple more nights of fun and perhaps a visit to Blauw aan de Wal.
Michael Neale mcneale@mac.com
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And then maybe a run in Vondelpark?
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